I found this blog post sitting in our drafts folder, and realized I had never published it. Even though it’s been several months, I think the lessons are still relevant.
Circa September 2011
So it’s after hours, the kids are asleep, and Dino is downstairs editing some video footage. I should be done working, and actually taking a minute to relax with a good book, or watching a show before I go to bed, but instead I feel compelled to share some insights from what I’ve learned over the past few weeks.
You see, Dino and I have been working on creating a free training video series, called Marital Revolution, so that we can introduce people to what our program is all about, and give them some valuable tools to enhance their own relationships. It seems like an easy idea on paper, but has been a bigger project than we had imagined!
Part of the reason it became so consuming was because of the time commitment involved, and the mental capital spent before, during and after taping each segment. But the real challenge was Resistance and The Procrastination Cycle.
The twin devils, Resistance and Procrastination, were daunting opponents to overcome. Now that we completed our project (merely 2 hours ago) I feel like the victor of some big feat, like a Gladiator game. Here’s why…
Procrastination was the first enemy to intrude our home. Almost every time we carved out time in our schedule to shoot our training segments, something else that was more pressing would come up. Or we would be too tired. Or we’d make up an excuse as to why later would be better.
Then, when we got really serious that nothing would delay our time frame, we were committed to finishing it that day, Resistance would rear it’s ugly head. For example, batteries in the microphone would go dead, the doorbell would ring in the middle of taping, the dog would suddenly bark for no reason, friends that we hadn’t seem in a while would out of the blue drop by and stay for hours, technical problems, etc. The list goes on and on. It was amazing to see the number of ways adversity would pop up just when we were on a roll!
However, the most crippling resistance was internal. Dino and I have been more on edge with each other, stressed, short tempered and over sensitive in the past 2 weeks than we’ve been in a very long time. Let’s just say that working together for long hours, days upon weeks took it’s toll on our enthusiasm. Add on top of that the negative internal dialogue about being on camera, hearing your own voice and trying to maintain authenticity was so challenging, it tempts me to want to stop. Resistance and procrastination feed on each other and create such a vicious cycle.
So here’s what I learned:
- When I feel these 2 ugly emotions rise up within me, I ask myself “Who benefits if I procrastinate?” And “Who loses when I put off doing something I feel inspired to do?” What am I really resisting? Is there an underlying emotion or experience that’s energetically tied to this resistance?”
These types of questions usually bring into focus that the adversarial forces are trying to hold me back from doing something thats good, and will contribute to society.
This helps me to keep my mind clear, and take conscious action, instead of reacting and letting the negative mind chatter in my head be in charge.
I find that this level of discipline overlaps into my marriage as well. If I work on keeping the negative inner critic in check about myself, it helps me keep it in check when dealing with my spouse. I find that most arguments in my life, and in my clients’ lives spawn out of a negative mindset and then gets out of control from there.
I hope being transparent about my own struggles will help you in identifying when you are in the clutches of resistance and procrastination, and help you power through it.