Loving your spouse more than your kids

One of the fastest growing divorce rates in the country is couples age 50-57 years old. I believe that has to do with the destructive trend of mom’s and dad’s putting the kids above their relationship.

I absolutely agree with this author! To go one step deeper, we actually have that conversation with our kids. I started telling my kids a few years ago that although I love them and would die for them, their mom is the most important thing in my life. That mom and I are a united front and unless there is something dangerous or illegal going on, I will always choose mom over them and she me.
In our marriage events, my wife and I call it the hierarchy. Sometimes we get some push back, especially from women, about it but I always explain: If as a dad I can teach my daughters to find a man who treats and feels for them the same way I do their mom and if my son grows up to treat his wife with the same admiration and respect as I do for his mom, then I will have done my job on this earth.

Check out what this author has to say about it.

  • http://www.charlysense.com Charlysense

    I could not agree with you more. My parents have been married more than 40 years and they have continued to be a best friend to each other. Here’s why:

    When we were growing up, my parents told us that “they each came first to each other, and that we came first to them as s unit.”

    Parenting is extremely taxing on a marriage —lose sight of what came first and your relationship is sunk.

    Not only did they set the tone for partnership, their perspective created a solid foundation between the two of them that they’re reaping the benefits of today now that we’re grown and out of the house. It also prevented us from being able to play one against the other. While I’m sure they didn’t always agree, they had those discussions in private and always maintained a united front. They understood that we were an extension of them, therefore if they put their marriage first, they would always have more strength, love and power to raise us in addition to enjoying a healthy and strong connection within their marriage.

    • DinoWatt

      What a great example your parents gave! Thanks for sharing.

    • DinoWatt

      Thanks for sharing your thoughts Charlysense. Sometimes people who haven’t been exposed to this philosophy find it hard to hear, but those who gre up with parents modeling it really do agree, and try to implement it in their own lives. Thanks!