Did you know that when you are emotionally distant and distressed in your relationship you have a physical reaction? In my events I talk about the Marriage Quadrant and how your Emotional, Spiritual, and Mental state all have a reaction that shows itself in the physical. Here’s some proof to that.
Ohio State University psychologist Janice Kiecolt-Glaser did an experiment on just this idea. She found that distress in a relationship adversely effects our immune system. In her experiment she took blood samples of newlyweds who had just gotten into an argument. The results showed, the more belligerent and contemptuous the partners were, the higher the level of stress hormones and the more depressed the immune system.
Then she took it a step further and used a vacuum to produce small blisters on the hands of women volunteers, then had them fight with their husbands. The nastier the fight, the longer it took for the woman’s skin to heal.
The key here is to understand how to argue. Most people don’t and their default is to fight with one another. We are al going to have disagreements and frustrations in a relationship, however, you need to be able to make these times learning moments. If you both know going to your spouse with and upset is going to be a safe and productive experience, then you are both able to learn and grow together, avoiding the hurt of fighting.
If you need help in this area and would like to know the rules for arguing, down load my audio file on my products page. It’s a game changer.