In preparing my book, I want to make sure there are some great examples and experiences from real people. I have asked a few people to write their experience in marriage and somehow relate it to my business idea. This is part of a letter sent to me from a wonderful woman whom I have known for over 25 years. I have watched Donna and her husband over the years and always been impressed with their relationship. This is only a portion of the letter she sent to me and i am sure you will all find it very valuable.
Business mergers are built through a series of negotiations. Marriage is built along the same lines. Marriage commitment has compromise at the very heart of it.
Unless you live in a vacuum, you have, at one time or another heard this statement. “Divide…and concur!” Well, it’s true in every marriage. If you are not consistently alert and in tune with your spouse, some of the simplest things will split you right down the middle. Allowing what appears to be just a simple ‘difference of opinion’ in your marriage can easily add up day after day and eventually eat away at the whole foundation of commitment to each other. Then before you know it, your ‘partnership’ will crumble at the first wave of hardship.
For instance, while visiting a video store to rent movies back int eh VHS days, Dave and i happened to overhear one husband snapping at his wife because she had just turned to browse down the “Romance and Drama” section of the store. His words were burned into my mind forever when he shot here a disgusted look and stated, “We are NOT renting any of that Romance crap tonight!” The wife turned a bright red from embarrassment and it made everyone in the store feel very uncomfortable. Needless to say, that couple was, at that moment, a divided unit. And the sad thing was that they were divided over something as simple as picking out a movie.
Dave and I came away from that store thinking a lot about that couple. We wondered if perhaps we were doing the same kind of thing in our daily lives. I like to read and Dave likes to watch movies. Were our individual preferances for simple things in life helping us bond together or separating us from each other?
From that video store moment on, Dave and I decided, as a couple, to share our movie choices. If he got a ‘shoot ‘em up’ movie, then I would get a Romance or Drama movie, and we made sure to watch both of them together. It was a great compromise and I loved my Dave all the more for showing me that what I liked mattered to him even if it wasn’t something he was drawn to.
Learning to compromise will get many couples through all kinds of things. Especially those wild teenage years when your children work on their highly skilled, divide and concur routines. Just remember, commitment has real compromise at the heart of it. Work on those two things and your marriage merger will last forever.