Do you find yourself saying “I don’t know” when it comes to decisions in your marriage?
When asked your opinion on something as simple as “Where would you like to eat tonight?” and your response is “I don’t know” you are only taking the easy way out. The trouble is, this can often be the root of your pointless arguments with your spouse.
Let’s stay with this simple eating example. You are asked, “Where would you like to eat tonight?”
You reply, “I don’t know.” Secretly, you’re craving Chinese but you remember the last time you went to the Chinese place your spouse complained afterward about the egg rolls. However, the last thing you want to eat tonight is Mexican.
Your spouse responds, “Okay then, let’s go to El Tio Pepe’s.”
At this point you do one of two things.
#1. You start to whine and complain about how much you don’t want to go there. In which case your spouse say’s, “Well then where would you like to go?”
To which you reply, “I don’t know” again. Then it becomes this big drama about what to eat. Typically no one is happy.
or #2.You keep your mouth shut. Go to the Mexican restaurant. Grumpily order. Have little to no conversation, complain about the littlest things. Then when asked what is wrong, tell your spouse that this was the last place you wanted to eat. Now frustration sets in and, once again, no one is happy.
All because you refused to say what you want.
This is just a tiny example, and maybe you are good about voicing your opinion about the little things. What about the big decisions?
Do you avoid giving your opinion because you don’t what to be held accountable for the outcome?
Saying, “I Don’t Know” only stops you from thinking and helps literally no one.
If you were an employee and constantly said, “I don’t know” when asked a question or for your opinion from your boss, how long would you keep that job?
Next time you ask a question and the response you are given is “I don’t know” try this out.
Respond with, “I know you don’t know. But if you did know, what would it be?”
You might want to try that on yourself as well every once and a while.
See what happened below when two of my students tried this on.